


when the petal falls (so falls my heart for you)

by chaWOOPa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Almost death, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Deaf Character, Gen, Hanahaki AU, M/M, sorry guys we are back to the regularly scheduled angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 12:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14260650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaWOOPa/pseuds/chaWOOPa
Summary: He hoards every smooth white petal that comes out of his throat as though it will be his last, hides them in a box under his bed along side the tie Kravitz left the first time he slept over and the small collection of silver beads that have fallen out of his hair while he has been here. There are a few feathers from Kravitz’s cloak and some jewelry Taako has claimed as his own in there too, but he doesn’t like to think about those. Those seem more personal. Those had intent.





	when the petal falls (so falls my heart for you)

The first petal is a shock to Taako's system that sets off alarm bells in his head and makes the steady thrum of his heartbeat ascend to a level verging on panic.

 

He doesn't leave his room for three days after he coughs it up.

 

He hoards every smooth white petal that comes out of his throat as though it will be his last, hides them in a box under his bed along side the tie Kravitz left the first time he slept over and the small collection of silver beads that have fallen out of his hair while he has been here. There are a few feathers from Kravitz’s cloak and some jewelry Taako has claimed as his own in there too, but he doesn’t like to think about those. Those seem more personal. Those had intent.

 

They haven't slept together yet. Not in a sexy way, at least, but Kravitz has taken to spending the night curled up around Taako because it makes it easier for them both to fall asleep when there is another body in the bed. Taako doesn’t like to think too hard about that, either.

 

He talks to his umbrella about it sometimes. He tells it all about why he won't tell Kravitz how he feels, or, how his lungs say he feels, at least.

 

 _“Who ever heard of death falling in love anyway?”_ He asks the colorful fabric and part of him is upset when the empty air left open for a response isn't filled with one, but the rest of him just sighs with resignation. _“Who ever heard of a wizard who talks to his staff, either?”_ this time he convinces himself the pang in his chest at the empty air is the flowers and not the disappointment of another unanswered question.

 

* * *

 

Taako chokes out his first full flower the same time he tells Magnus and Merle about his condition. Really, the first full flower _is_ how he tells Magnus and Merle about it, if he is being honest with himself.

 

It isn't an ideal situation, and he doubts he would be in it if he had just _told someone_ what was going on, but instead of lingering on the what if’s, he gets out from under the heavy machinery Wonderland has dropped on him and scoops up this most precious of piece of himself that was knocked free the same time two or three of his ribs were.

 

It is a pristine, white rose, perfect and pearly and he can feel the scratch of its brothers’ thorns in his aching lungs, though that could also be his fractured ribs. The battle is over and he is barely on his feet and there is some kind of sick joy in the way the twins tell him he is not allowed access to healing, but he can't find it in himself to care much as he twirls the flower in his hands and tries to figure out what he is going to do with it.

 

The white rose, he and- he, just him, when he was little, used call them dead roses. They were the only flowers anyone bought for their Aunt's funeral. White roses meant death, meant mourning, meant grief, meant that the person he loves has left him alone in the world once again.

 

He has always hated white roses.

 

He pulls his hair out its disaster of a bun and redoes it carefully and meticulously so the rose will not fall. _For Kravitz,_ he thinks, _I will learn to love them again._

 

He does not notice the specks of blood that stain the rose after he has handled it too much.

 

* * *

 

Here’s the thing about Wonderland; it takes and takes and takes and takes until there is nothing left for taako to give, and then it takes some more just to spite him. In some universe, Taako spins a bare number of times and gets out easier than he could ever imagine. This is not that universe. In this one, the dice are weighted against him, and every other spin the twins ask for something he cannot give, they ask for his emotions, for his flowers, for his friends, his love. They ask him for his _heart_.

 

Taako wants sorely to give it to them. He wants for this to end, for them to take his emotions and leave him be, but something about the wooden magnolia (a perfect match for the real one in their dorm suite at the base) stung around Magnus’s neck and the single forget-me-not front and center in Merle’s beard stops him. It would be selfish. It would be cruel. It would be wrong.

 

Taako cannot take the easy way out because Magnus and Merle could not take the easy way out.

 

Taako is almost ready to do it anyway when Magnus’s hand lands on his shoulder and pulls him away from the swirling wheel that taunts him with it’s flashing lights and empty promises.

 

Taako cannot hear the music or his companions or, well, anything anymore, but that doesn't really matter because he can feel petals and leaves rustling with every breath he takes and he can feel the ragged scraping of thorns on his lungs with every movement and it keeps him grounded.

 

He has lost so, so much to this hellscape, but he hasn't lost everything. He will not lose everything.

 

* * *

 

The ethereal plane is quiet, just like it always is, when he reaches out to pull Magnus back. It is peaceful and if he wasn't so furious about the attempt to take his friend from him, he would have taken a moment to enjoy this natural stillness.

 

When he sees Kravitz, he does not have time to process what is happening before the portal closes and Merle is pulling them back to their own plane where they belong.

 

He is just desperate enough to save him too to reach for the man he loves, his white rose, the words on tip of his tongue and the flowers clogging up his spectral throat and growing over his clouded vision as he is slammed back into his body.

 

He comes to with a coughing fit that expels a second, perfect rose onto his lap, and this time he tucks it behind his ear to save time.

 

He has two lich asses to kick, he will think about how long he has left to live after.

 

* * *

 

The red robe is proud of him. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows.

 

He cannot hear anymore, he gave that up in wonderland, but the way the skeleton looks at him makes him feel warm, so he lets himself feel warm. He lets himself remember that he did not give up his emotions and he lets that fuel him.

 

He coughs up a third rose that night and a part of him wishes he had let them fade into the flashing lights of Wonderland as he weaves the three flowers into his bloody braid.

 

* * *

 

When they get back to base, Magnus is the one who tells him what everyone is saying through their band of projected thought. He puts up a brave face and he delivers the lies ( _are they lies? Magnus should be dead, shouldn’t he?_ ) of Magnus’s death and he hands over the bell and he pretends like he can hear everything the people say to him.

 

He doesn’t know why he is hiding what he sacrificed, he just knows that he wants this to be over with.

 

They get out of the transport room and it is more than a relief to see the vast emptiness of the Costco. Taako can’t bring himself to care where they go from here, but Magnus does, so he follows Magnus.

  


When they next see Lucretia, she looks at the flowers in Taako’s disheveled hair like she knows, and he doesn’t doubt she does. He has had exactly four coughing fits since he arrived on base and he sees her and it sets off another, and this time white petals aren’t the only ones that come up.

 

Taako coughs up a perfect little bluebell and in his shock lets it fall to the floor at the Director’s feet.

 

He cannot hear her reaction, but something tells him he doesn’t want to.

 

Merle puts a hand on his hip and Taako sees tears hit the floor before he feels them running down his face and he can’t quite wrap his head around why he is even crying, but when he looks up at Lucretia she won’t meet his eyes and her mouth is moving as though she is talking to someone. He struggles not to wish he could hear her.

 

Taako can feel Merle trying to steer him somewhere but he clutches his umbrella in his hands and he levels his stare at her face and tries desperately to pick up what she is saying but something has been lost in translation until finally he says, “I can’t fucking hear anymore, If you have something to say to me, look at me when you say it!”

 

She finally looks at him and he wishes she hadn’t because he can feel the coughing fit tickling at the back of his throat and he doesn’t understand it but he he watches desperately for her to say something, anything, until she finally looks away without saying a word.

 

He thinks he sees a tear in her eye but he can’t bring himself to care is his gaze drops with his heart and he allows himself to cough again.

 

His eyes catch on the _tap tap tap_ of Lucretia’s finger on her gown and his mind screams with static as he counts the taps and the pauses and comes away with a phrase he cannot wrap his head around.

 

Taako let’s Merle lead him to Lucretia’s office as he wonders how the hell a bunch of taps translated to, “I love you, Taako,” and what language she would share with him that no one else would know to look for.

 

He doesn’t wonder for long.

 

* * *

 

When Taako comes to from remembering, he still cannot hear, but he can feel his breathing ease just a little bit and he is furious.

 

Taako is _so fucking glad_ he didn’t give wonderland his emotions.

 

When Taako rises to his feet he can tell that Lucretia is making excuses but he could care less right now. He can’t listen to her ramble off excuses and he doesn’t want to anyway.

 

 _She took his sister from him_ . _She took his everything from him._

 

“Ten” he says as he points his sister’s staff at the woman who used to be his best friend.

 

He watches her plead for him to listen to her as he counts down, sees her talk far too fast for him to keep up with when his counting doesn’t falter and he stands taller for it; but when Magnus puts a hand on his shoulder, when he stands in solidarity with Taako’s anger, something in him breaks.

 

He sees a replay of her taping in her gown just before he and Merle disappeared into her office and the fight leaves him.

 

“Y-you know what? I don’t care. I-i don’t-I don’t care anymore!” he says ( _he thinks he might scream it but he doesn’t know anymore because the only thing he can hear is his thoughts_ ). “Y-you-you took _everything_ from me and no-now I-I have _nothing_ and-and I. Don’t. Care.”

 

He turns into Magnus’s chest and he feels tears building in his eyes as Magnus wraps one strong arm around him to hold him there and for just a moment, for just a moment he gets to grieve his sister in peace.

 

He didn’t think he would be thankful for the losses of wonderland, but as he lets himself cry into Magnus’s chest without having to hear Lucretia’s stumbling attempts to justify what she has done, he find that he _is_ thankful for at least that one.

 

* * *

 

Taako sees the fireball launch off the umbrastaff and he sees Angus’s terrified eyes and the way he shakes his head as he very carefully enunciates that _he didn’t cast that_ and Taako feels giddy. He holds out his hand for the staff that Angus immediately tosses his way and he looks at it for just a moment after he catches it before he snaps it over his knee.

 

He has enough time between snapping it and the resulting explosion to realize that it will leave a wicked bruise before he is blown back to the wall by the magical energy that comes from it. He can’t hear the explosion or the fire, but he can see it, and he can see the masterful way it weaves around his friends and allies but leaves nothing else untouched, obliterating the piece of the hunger that had found its way into this dome.

 

It obliterates five white roses and Taako winces for the loss of his flowers.

 

When the fire clears, Taako knows she shouts something at him, but he can’t hear it, instead he just stumbles forward, slowly at first, than full sprint towards her. He knows, of course, that she can’t really catch him, but that doesn’t matter.

 

What matters is that Lup is alive and here and he loves her.

 

Taako falls to his knees halfway to her in a coughing fit worse than he has had yet.

 

The petals and flowers of that fit come out stained pink and red with blood.

 

* * *

 

Taako doesn’t think he has the strength to turn the black glass to sapphire, but that doesn’t matter, and that _isn’t_ what he tells his family. He has to do it. He is coughing up leaves and petals and flowers between attempts, and even the appearance of his stagecoach and the mirror does nothing to make him feel like he can do any better.

 

The taco, however, does wonders.

 

It tastes like heaven with a side of his own coppery blood sliding down the ruined portions of his throat, and when he feels the power that it gives him, he doesn’t even have to wonder if he will be able to turn the glass to sapphire.

 

Phandolin rises out of the giant hole in the hunger’s bubble and _Life_ rushes back into the plane, and Taako sees Kravitz for the first time in, well, he doesn’t actually know how long it has been.

 

All he knows, is that another flower is forcing its way up and out of his ruined throat as he meets eyes with his reaper and the whole world drops away as he pushes himself off the ground and _runs._

 

Kravitz Is running too, and Taako thinks he can see his mouth moving like he is calling for him. Taako’s breathing is being blocked by the rose in his throat and his vision is darkening and his lungs are burning, but he refuses to stop, refuses to stop until he is in Kravitz’s arms.

 

* * *

 

Kravitz can see Taako’s spirit waning and he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t know why until he makes contact with Taako and the coughing starts.

 

Kravitz hasn’t cried in over a thousand years, he didn’t know he was capable of it, but as he holds Taako’s heaving body in his arms he feels himself start to sob and all he can do is hold his wizard tight and hope his words aren’t too late to save him.

 

“ _I love you, Taako,_ ” He says but the coughing doesn’t stop, the gasping doesn’t slow.

 

Taako grabs desperately at his face with one hand and Kravitz doesn’t understand what is going on, only that his vision is blurring with tears as Taako shakes his head and taps out a pattern on Kravitz’s head that he cannot understand but he knows is the language that Lucretia and Taako shared.

 

Kravits leans down and presses a kiss to Taako’s forehead as he says, “ _I love you, but I don’t understand,_ ” Taako’s tapping increasing in tempo and shifts spots as Kravitz keeps murmuring against Taako’s skin about how much he loves him.

 

There is a scream from somewhere across from them and Kravitz jerks up to see a lich collapsed at the edge of the circle next to a familiar man Kravitz distinctly remembers playing cat and mouse with for a few years. The man, Barry Bluejeans, if Kravitz remembers correctly, is running towards them and shouting something that Kravitz doesn’t quite catch.

 

“Taako is still alive but I don’t know how to fix this!” Kravitz calls desperately. These are Taako’s siblings, his best friends, if they cannot help than no one can.

 

“He can’t hear you!” Barry screams back, and suddenly the tapping makes sense. He was tapping Kravitz’s ear. He was trying to tell him he couldn’t hear.

 

In just the few second that it took for Barry to tell Kravitz, Taako has faded so, so much. Kravitz curls his arms around Taako’s thin form and, with one shaking finger, traces the words “ _I love you_ ” onto Taako’s back. He doesn’t know if it will work, he doesn’t know if anything could work at this point, but he has to hope, he has to try.

 

Taako’s short gasps start to get just a little bit deeper as the words sink into his skin and down to his bones and Kravitz sends a quick thank you to whatever god is listening when Taako’s beautiful brown eyes open and meet his.

 

“I love you,” He says again, relief making his eyes water again and his hands shake as they hold Taako, but he cannot hold the words in, saying them over and over again as though they will mend Taako faster, as though they will save the world.

 

Taako pulls Kravitz close and while he doesn’t say it back right then, Kravitz thinks he can live with that. After all, the flowers that grow in Kravitz’s bones and turn his skeleton into a living garden can’t kill him the way the ones in Taako’s lungs tried to kill him.

 

There will be plenty of time for love later.

 

Kravitz pulls Taako into a hug and Taako hugs back and though the apocalypse is happening around them, somehow Kravitz knows, there will be endless time for love later.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks tfw for talking about Hanahaki and making me feel like i needed to write a cannon-verse fic for it. I took some liberties and diverge from it a little (making taako deaf lmao) but like, mostly i wanted to stick with cannon. 
> 
> expect more in this verse, becasue i really really love the idea of kravitz being a walking garden when he a skeleton becasue the flowers just grow and grow and grow becasue they can't kill him. 
> 
> also, that bluebell? Taako isn't the only one with little bluebells from when Lucretia split up her family. <| ):D
> 
> Love yall!


End file.
